In life all things that happen above also happen below, according to ancient paradox philosophy. Do i really need to start every chapter with the same foundation? I do, once you are able to see the mirror effect in everything doors will open for you and you will reach a higher form of understanding. You will learn about your place in life, and those of the other people around you. How you all orbit around the same life source, as planets orbit the sun. I am like Mercury, so close to the light i am almost bursting into flames. It’s hard to live besides a man like that, like it’s just as hard to live on the planet mercury thanks to it’s incredible heat. We can only watch it safely from a distance if we don’t want to get burned. Humans have a lot of similarities between the stars and planets. If you learn more about how their location from the sun affects their personal climate and the possibilities for life you also learn a lot more about your own characteristics and how they influence the behaviour of other people around you. How even the smallest impact from an external source can have enormous consequences. If an object evolves around a planet it can even create tides at the right circumstances.
Don’t ask me what tides i am in. A few years ago my consciousness made a huge shift and i am lost now in a world where i don’t really belong. In a body which i hardly recognize anymore. Everything is blurred since i broke the chains of denial and i think this is what they call the destruction of ego. I know who i used to be, but i am no longer that same me. The more i dig into my true identity the more i am losing what i thought defined me. I don’t define me and my environment doesn’t define me. Nature defines me, or god if it sounds more convenient to you. We always seem to choose the words that satisfy our hearing the most instead of those that actually matter. What matters is here and now, the place i am and the fact i shouldn’t be here. I became reality in a slow process, a mental game of chess. I’m so deeply involved in that game now there is no going back. This is the great game and this is where you will meet your biggest fears. I’m facing my biggest now, for the first time in years i have a lot to lose again. Things i like and people i am growing fond of. It goes against all the strategic lessons i have learned in my life but at least it brings me peace for a while. How i longed for that is hard to describe with a pen. Some feelings or images are so complex even a poet might find it hard to describe. Same goes for this story, as far as you can call it a story. I don’t even know what to call it any longer. It has all sorts of properties. It could be a journal, a tale, a poetic way to describe scientific and philosophic rules or a biography and much more. It’s a true story, yet filled with fiction. I forgot how it began and i don’t know how this will end. At least i am going forward in time, although this day pushed me back a bit. I nearly lost all my memories and the ones that are left become entangled with dreams. If i try to compare myself from two years ago and who i currently am i don’t even look the same anymore. My body changed, my face changed, my clothing changed, my habits changed and my brains changed enormously. I am not going to take one step back on this path towards destiny. In the end we all become what we need to become. The point is, everyone in this reality uses strategy and has evil plans and the minute i see it my dark side comes out and i see a competitor. Things can only go downhill into a destructive spiral from that point on. When it comes to strategy and planning i have no competition anymore. There are no men like me, only me. I do not judge, i do not condemn, i only reflect like a mirror. I guess experience taught me to be in a state of Mushin as long as i remember. It’s the warriors way to bring mental peace into a world of flames by living in harmony with the fire. As far as this is a journal, it’s about day 600 of the process i started and it is by far the most creative and destructive piece of strategic planning i have done so far. To turn myself inside out hoping i will not suffer the same fate as the one who came before me. The lamb of god, slaughtered and sacrificed by the people he came to save. It says a lot about those people. Nature does not mourn the way we do, it just prepares for a better solution. So here i am, a better solution. I can assure you history will not repeat and i can only hope mankind has learned it’s lessons. We had about two thousand years to learn so if we still fail our species maybe is just too inefficient to evolve beyond the point of self destruction. I hope i am sufficient enough to surpass that point, i still doubt myself. Although i am just harvesting my next top quality marijuana which i have been doing for over ten years now without any problems i still doubt myself whether i am creative enough. No matter how much i achieve it’s never enough. But that`s not the only problem. I’m beginning to look down on these people around me more and more. Their rich lives made them spoiled and lazy beyond the point of hope. And me? I’m just a redeemed soul in a strange body, finding it’s way in a strange world. Slowly reshaping the body around me day by day to prepare it for what is coming. Things no one can avoid. My coming here can only mean that the things i have seen are all true and i am stuck in a mirroring loop. Slowly i close my eyes and try to reach my reflection on the other side. “Are you still there? I bet you are”. For a while nothing but silence, but then a voice slowly responds from a world far from this one. “Help me..”. I try to picture where my reflection would be, but the more i grow used to this dimension the harder it gets to reach the other side. In my mind i picture a mirror and the deeper i stare into it the more i seem to get lost in a world where normal things don’t apply any longer. As i place my next step my boots touch wet sandy soil near a small river bed. I see a young man lying next to a small improvised camp fire. He looks pale, exhausted and starving. “You should have known you weren’t ready for this”, i slowly say to the pathetic excuse for a human that’s supposed to be some sort of reflection of me. “How did the two of us ever met? It still feels strange to me to consider you as a part of me, but i understand now. Here, i brought you some food”. Slowly i hand over a few slices of bread with cheese from the local store. Thankful and eager he accepts the offer and i can see clearly he is having some trouble swallowing from dehydration. “What happened while i was gone?”. Carefully i take a seat next to what used to be a student of mine, a stubborn one who refused to follow my lead. Many did before him and many had the same regrets he has now. “Can i go back now?”, he asks with a slow exhausted voice. “I’m afraid not my friend, but someday you will and this will all be just a dream. You remember you asked me once about my history? I think i finally know why i can’t remember everything. It’s because you carried half of it all along. Don’t ask how but the day will come when you forgot who you are now and you will remember only the things i remember. That`s the day you will go home to redeem yourself. You will have lived a thousand years at war with yourself and your environment and wake up one year in the past. You will remember everything”. Without saying another word i leave this place. Many bad memories remind me of the path i walked. Besides, saying goodbye in such a way to this man is nearly impossible, i know the sentence i gave him. I remember it all too well, but sometimes a man has to do his job. I resume my typing the moment i return from my simulative state of mind. To most of you dreams are something beyond our grip, but to the man who understands it’s a whole new reality in the palm of his hands. Like a world filled with blocks in which i can release my strategic creativity to simulate possibilities and find solutions. Carefully i manage my environment in such a way it pushes me to the limits, making it activate the right strains of Dna in my body. Since i found the key of shaping the human body and mind it is like i am creating a piece of art and i am the canvas as well as the medium and the source. A unification of three crucial parts. King Solomon’s geometric seal guides me through every step on this process. It is supposed to bring me everything i can dream of, but i can only dream of one thing. True love, without any form of illusion. I have seen the worst already, hopefully this seal is my stairway to heaven. I only hope i am allowed to enter, if not i will accept my destiny.
The sun rises slowly as i start my daily exercise. Six hundred days of practice seems to be doing an excellent job on my bo staff skills. I’m improving fast and getting better at it then i expected when i started. Most of the spins are going smoothly and i can combine them all quite easily. I`m working on the katana as well. In days i`d say i’ve been training about three hundred days now with a razor sharp forged carbon steel blade. Only had a few minor accidents so far. A few cuts on the back of my legs. Since training with a sharp blade as a rookie is probably close to suicide i’d say i have looked in the eyes of death for quite a while now. And it stares back at me, teasing me. Whispering in my ears:”never you, only the ones around you”. I know it’s true and i know why, many of those around me forgot how to survive. A large part of our DNA exists out of acquired skills we no longer use since they no longer serve any true purpose. I’m not a true exception, but i’m trying my best to reactivate those genes by re-experiencing the situations in which they become a need in order to activate the possibilities behind them. Once you break through the genetic coding you will find a whole river of talents pouring in. The key is to stop chasing desires, but start creating needs. Power only comes to the call of a need not a desire. It’s hard to ignore the call of a desire when the thing you desire most is waiting in front of you. Water to cool down the fire within that has been burning for so long now. My soul is desperately craving for love and peace, but i am not allowed to give in yet. Every time i think i am close it seems to be a near miss. I never chose this life, it just chose me. The more i try to escape the deeper i get pulled into this spiral. Documentaries and various scientific and philosophical articles feed my consciousness and awareness while my daily exercises finetune muscle memory and synchronize body control with material control. My job is almost done. Since i found the key to manipulate paradoxes and patterns i knew i had to harden in order to keep this sacred knowledge in safe hands. The seal of kings only readable with a trained eye. It has been engraved in my memory so deep i can recreate it anytime on any surface. I am starting to realize the same thing my ancestors did once they came in possession of these “patterns”, that it is up to me to make sure it always stays in the hands of the free minded thinkers. As long as there is at least one more like me there will never be total submission possible here on Earth. Silently i take place behind my laptop and continue writing on this chapter. Every time i try to finish it i only seem to move a few sentences along. Maybe i need to practice writing more and take a step back on my other teachings. Time is slowly slipping through my fingers as i carefully arrange the different types of improvements that still need to be completed, but every time i look in the mirror i can see a bit more of who i am. It’s still not enough. I lack athletic skills and my insight is far from where it needs to be. For days i have been wondering how to increase those things and the question rises whether i am too old to do this or not. Age is just a number which should be divided by experience and experience is very relative to personal limitation. In reality i have experienced a lot. Stealing food to survive, sleeping in the streets during winter and fighting my way up from financial misery. I grew up in a bad neighborhood, got my first conviction when i was ten years old and smoked my first blunt at about the same age. During my childhood i got arrested for many things, convicted for a few and i have done a lot more then i can remember. I’ve broken into houses, companies and construction area`s and stole so many things… Drove around for years without a licence, scammed my government in various ways and sold so many drugs i could have been rich as hell if i cared for any of those things. I never did, i always felt lost. You know the feeling of coming to your parents house and feeling like coming home? Cherish that feeling, my home has been destroyed. Ever since i have always felt homeless, even now while i am sitting in my own house. This planet doesn’t feel like home anymore and it isn’t. It’s a hostile environment and it’s obvious the people here don’t like my kind. You can taste the hate in the atmosphere around me. They despise me for who i am, son of god and lion of Judah from the root of David carrying the seal of Solomon. I don’t mind, i am aware of the treat and prepared for it as much as i can. I have learned all i needed to learn along the way and will continue to do so until nature forced me to take the next step. At the moment boredom takes over. This isn’t the kind of life i am used to, so much safety and stability. Even though the people around me complain about the growing crime numbers and the daily increasing threat of a world war i feel so incredibly bored… I lived amongst the worst, what should i fear? Death? I think death fears me for being alive since i have been way beyond death and i came back with a whole bag full of tricks. Ancient mysteries lost and forgotten from a time we where more than just men. We were legends, accomplishing things far beyond normal human capabilities. I am an ancient mystery myself, since i have followed teachings from a time very long ago. It shaped both my body and mind and changed my entire personality. Nature shaped me, or god if it sounds more convenient to your belief system. Religion entertains me, but i have never been a very religious man. More the scientific type, believing in things that can be explained within the current laws of physics. The thing most people don’t know is scientists are mostly specialized in their own area. They can tell you all about a single law of physics and their personal research to expand our understanding of that single area, but ancient Alchemy has it’s own way of approaching science. It does not divide, or specialize without losing view of the bigger picture. Specialisation is only a tool to expand the view of the bigger picture. Alchemists believe in a unification of all knowledge. We use strategies to divide and conquer it, but if you approach it as a whole and pile all the current laws of physics together you get a very interesting unification in which everything is possible. That is the Prima materia according to Alchemy. All fruits of labor come from the tree of knowledge. This is the eleventh chapter, i am almost halfway and i am beginning to get the feeling something big is about to happen. This is the silence before the storm and there will be a storm. At the moment i don’t really care. I slowly breath in the thick smoke from the Hash and it increases my focus slowly while making my body feel like it weighs twice as much. It’s the kind of resistance i need to train beyond normal levels. I’ve also been thinking about filling my tactical vest with small weights to increase body mass, but that’s for later use. The limits of this phase hasn’t been reached yet. At the time i am mostly enjoying my freedom. It’s also a necessary step since i have to know what it is i am protecting. Sacred knowledge is worthless without the free minds to utilize it so i also need to find at least one person able to follow my tracks. That`s going to be even harder then redeeming my own soul has been so far. It all depends on how convincing i can be. There were days when i was able to convince hundreds to follow my lead, but i lost my own confidence after my marriage collapsed. I could have seen that coming. After all i have been through i am still fragile on those spots where i lack the experience to know what i am dealing with. I am aware of it and so i will grow by shaping my environment in such a way it forces me to experience and evolve.
The sun shines as i wake up from a very strange night. I slept on the floor last night. My back is still a bit sore from it, but i’ve had some practice lately. Guess i am taking things a bit far by carefully stripping myself from all comfort, but it is necessary. Better to condition myself slowly every day then to wait for the storm and the call of a need. I’ll create that call of a need myself to speed things up. Slowly my feet move across the cold wooden floor of my house as i approach the long rectangular mirror on the wall. With pride my reflection stares back at me, dressed in dark clothes with green penetrating eyes and a cunning smile. “From beyond reality i came, i saw, i conquered”. A deep silence fills the atmosphere after those words escape my lips. God is watching, i can sense its presence. I know even the people in the streets can sense a strange dark energy hanging around me. What started out as a story meant to inspire and challenge myself pushes me way beyond any limit i could imagine when i wrote the first page. This is no joke anymore. I have learned to wield a razor sharp sword like a trained assassin and also managed to do an impressive job with a bo staff and a dagger. This combined with three years of muay thai training i received in the past changed me from the scared beaten up child i used to be into a well trained killing machine and all the training i’ve done so far has been done under the influence of large amounts of cannabis and hash to increase resistance and push my body to extreme limits. I studied in almost every different area of science and philosophy and extended my knowledge on mythology and history to push my mental state into a higher form of consciousness which in combination with an advanced strategic experience from my obsession in strategy gaming gave me the ability to read the seal of Solomon and use sacred knowledge to guide me through every step of the process. I know i am at the very edge of a big event in history. Maybe i am even at the center of it. If all the things i’ve read so far are true this story might even be the reason for it. I may have dug a bit to deep to search for hidden forms of knowledge to make it more exciting. All the way down to the bottom of an endless void filled with secrets and questions to find an answer for every question i could ever come up with to finally find some mental peace. At least that worked out perfectly. I no longer lay awake at night asking myself all sorts of questions to which no one has any answers. I don’t have any wild dreams anymore of being more than i am right now, since at the moment i am already experiencing more wonders than i could dream of. Slowly days pass by and it seems as if i am wasting my time but i don’t worry about it. As long as there is nothing significant happening i just try to use the time i have as efficient as possible. Fine tuning gear and checking for new additions on a daily basis. Today i rewarded myself for my achievements by ordering a new Jian sword made from folded steel. It’s the most suitable model of sword i could find. With all the european types the crossguard is a major obstruction for smooth flowing moves, which i found out by practicing with a two handed sword. A katana is good enough to handle, but the fact is only has one sharp side gives it a disadvantage to the Jian sword. Nonetheless it is still quite painful to strike a man at full force with the blunt side of the blade. It will definitely cause severe brain trauma, but a cut is more effective on the rest of the body. No one dies from a broken elbow. However, when you engage in combat with an armored adversary hitting the enemy with the blunt side of the blade actually does more damage. For now i think it’s best to keep both blades as a part of my arsenal which increases slowly by the day. I am already well equipped and just making improvements at the moment. Hopefully i can still acquire a few more things before chaos comes. Now i don’t mean to scare my readers, but if i were you i would take this very serious. Prepare for the things you never thought you would have to prepare for, or don’t say i didn’t warn you in time before you will find out what i have been seeing all these years. Waves slowly expanding spreading a force which i am very familiar with. After thousands of battles this will be my last stance. After dying a thousand times inside a dreamworld, i came to reality to die here once. I don’t know if it will be soon or if i still have the pleasure of enjoying life for many years to come, but one thing is for sure; i will find peace once and for all. There might also be a possibility i won’t live to tell the end of this tale, if that happens find closure in knowing that i’ve lived my life to the fullest and spend the time i had on this planet in a most extraordinary way. It has been enough to be pleased with myself if this is all i have. My funeral would be a quiet one since i lost most people close to me along the way, but i would find peace knowing that one day someone will try to understand the things i have been doing with myself and they will go on where i stopped. They will make me proud and i feel privileged to be a part of this. I feel proud of being able to read the seal of Solomon with the help of my strategic insight and understanding of the seven principles of Hermetic philosophy, meaning i must be the one they refer to in revelation 5:5. My zodiac is a lion as well and i have learned all i could learn about the philosophy behind the characteristics of the lion. But am i really of the root of David? I know my father has gypsy blood running through his veins so i have some exotic blood running through my bloodlines, but i don’t believe i could be a direct descendent. Still i fit the description perfectly. I have been sacrificed many times by many different people close to me so they could avoid taking responsibility for their mistakes, even by my own parents. One thing kept me alive, my faith in the fact nature always compensates. Every time someone sacrificed me and made me fight their battles i rose from the fight stronger and harder. I know i am worthy now, for if i wasn’t i could have never decrypted king Solomons seal. If it isn’t enough than i am not the one to blame. I gave it my best, more than i thought i could give. I am still giving way more then i can give. The rest of it comes from god, or nature if it pleases you. It compensates for the fact i am still fighting alone. In absence of social distraction my creativity is still growing enormously thanks to natural compensation. Energy will never be lost, it came back and prepared me for the worst.
“My belief is firm in a law of compensation. The true rewards are ever in proportion to the labour and sacrifices made.”- Nikola Tesla
“Be alone, that is the secret of invention; be alone, that is when ideas are born.” - Nikola Tesla
